Coast Guard of Lanthor

Friday the 13th

So, after the incredible party at Hawthorne, we eventually had to make our way back to our ship and report in on what had happened. We explained as best we could about “Darkness”, and the loremasters praised us for what we had found out. They pledged they would be following this “Darkness” dude, to see what he might be up to.

In the meantime, we had earned ourselves a week’s leave!! The only stipulation was that each of us consult our own people as to what the local news might be…

Even though we all scattered to do different things after we arrived back in Lanthor, we all heard basically the same thing: evil was afoot in the southern suburb. We heard that a creature of retribution and evil would show up in the graveyard next to the old ruined mansion, on very specific days. Apparently the creature was the spirit of a young nobleman who killed himself there after his lover betrayed him with another. The young nobleman killed his lover and her boyfriend and then drowned himself, and so the spirit was terrified of water. This all happened long ago on Friday the 13th, and sinister activity always peaks there on that night. Coincidentally, tonight was a Friday the 13th…

Reggie decided hanging around to catch the spirit might not be enough, so he hired a couple off the street to make out in the graveyard that night. As they did, the spirit rose up from a mausoleum and slew them both, then hit Reggie for a hideous amount of damage. The rest of us joined the fight and lured the spirit into the ocean water, where Reggie entangled it with seaweed. Just as Ogre lunged forward to dismember it, the spirit sank out of our view into the sea, with a one-fingered salute to all. We realized we had not killed it, but we had driven it away until the next Friday the 13th…


We made it back to the village of Hawthorne, after having rescued all of the survivors of "Darkness"’s cowardly attack. When the villagers saw that we had brought back their friends and family, they threw us a HUGE party!!!

I asked for fine wine, and they produced a bottle like none of us had ever seen. It was all dusty, with elven runes on it, and Reggie said it was made for an ancient elven king. He also said I shouldn’t drink it because it was too valuable. PBBBBTTTT!!! I laughed at him and opened it up. OMG. It was the BEST WINE EVER.

There were lots of games and drinking contests and fun, lasting well into the night…

The next day, we joined the villagers for a celebratory hunt, for something called a kraken?

The villagers were accustomed to hunting this thing, but they told us it was very dangerous. The winged elf flew up and found a juvenile of the animal they described , and then the hunt was on!

Just as things started, I stood up and threw a harpoon at the thing, which neatly skewered it through the eye, and it died. Reggie threw some sort of spell at the same time… not sure what that was, but it probably helped…

We rowed back with the kraken’s corpse, and then it was BEACH PARTY!! The kraken BBQ was exquisite, but everyone but Ogre could eat only a small portion of their share. (Ogre ate ALL of his(hers?)). The rest of us sold our shares for a lot of money, but I get the feeling Ogre did not regret eating all of his(hers) at all…

Kraken Shot
Elaine kills a kraken

Much merriment, shield jumping, rochambeau contests, then a kraken fishing trip.

So like Elaine killed it dead with one shot. True story.

Then we ate it.

The end.

End of "Darkness", for now...

So this “Darkness” dude is a real freak. As we continued on into his mansion (trap?), we found a room where the only thing to do was drink a potion that would shrink us to 1/8th or 1/10th our normal size. We did it, eventually, only to find ourselves fighting normal-sized frogs and fish, then rats, then wererats!!!! One of us, the elfie spell caster, went down under a pile of rats, presumably dead, but then the next round, he popped out as an extra head on the ogre. WTF?

After a huge fight under these new circumstances, a ghostly silver unicorn appeared and touched each of us with its horn. It told us we are chosen, whatever that means, and we will do great things, including saving the world from “Darkness”. At least I think that is what it said…

We proceeded to the next room, where we found a logic puzzle. Harry and I guessed the answer, which opened a door so we could move forward. In the hallway just beyond, Ogre found a slide/pit trap that (s)he managed NOT to fall into. We found our way down after Ogre jammed the drop.

Around the next corner we found a guest room with food and showers. Even though Ogre was supposed to stand first watch and then wake me for second watch, (s)he fell asleep and we were outrageously unprotected ALL NIGHT LONG, until I woke up early. A bucket of water and some sharp words fixed that problem, though, and we started to look around us.

Harry found a place he thought was a secret door, and sure enough, it was. Beyond it we found all the stuff we had when we came to this house (all our gear), and a passage on. As we moved through, we all turned normal-sized again. Ogre and the elfie type somehow miraculously separated into themselves, and we all put on our own clothes and gear.

We heard “Darkness” tell us this was the final chapter. About then we looked around and found ourselves in a huge mirrored room. Duplicates of each of us appeared out of the mirrors and attacked, and so the final fight was us against… us, more or less. Naturally, we won.

After it was all over, we heard “Darkness” clapping and cheering for us. He said we had given him more than enough material to prove his doctoral thesis, somethng about the mindset of the HERO. He also told us that Reggie (the goblin from the local village) had sold out during the fight and was now a follower of Shay’nara. We thought he had taken a suspicious amount of damage, so we “inspected” his shoulder and found a mark that said “Property of Shay’nara”. Now what to do with him?

After that, “Darkness” thanked us and opened up the house doors to let us out. He promised that all the villagers we came here to save (at least, all of them that had not been eaten yet) would be waiting for us upstairs. Upstairs we found about half of the missing, bedraggled but ok. All the skeleton tenders we saw before were now little piles of bones on the ground, as if their animating force had gone. We found enough boats at the dock to take all of the villagers home, and there was much rejoicing!

Once the party was over, we tried to convince Reggie (the tainted goblin) to join us in the Coast Guard, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to. I guess we will have to see what he wants to do in the near future…

Sometimes we kill ourselves
no, really

So we fought evil eyepatch wearing duplicates of ourselves in a mirror room for the amusement of some evil necromancer.

Playing "Darkness" games

Previously on “Coast Guard of Lanthor”, we were just ending a fight when everything went white…

The whiteness cleared again, leaving us with the feeling that something had just been altered in the recent past… We were all alive and well and couldn’t remember anything being altered…

We shook ourselves and then looked around. The small, angry creature who had killed a werewolf in one flurry of blows turned out to be a goblin. He addressed us and told us his name was Daniel. He was from Hawthorne (the village we came here to help) and had gone out into the swamp himself to investigate the disappearances. We introduced ourselves and said we had been sent here to help, but before we could talk further, “Darkness” broke in and said that we would not be bothered again tonight. He said he would see us again tomorrow and to sleep well. (Creepy). We agreed that the elves would watch first, while Ogre and I slept, but we had a look around before bed. We found that there was a ring of undead skeleton warriors ringing our camp, killing anything that came around. After many assurances from the elves that they would be carefully watching , I went to sleep. However, when Ogre awoke at dawn the next morning, he (she?) found EVERYONE else asleep. Apparently, the assurances given by “Darkness” last night made the elves feel so comfortable that, in spite of a ring of undead warriors around us, they slept like babies. %^&*$#@!!!!!!!!!

After some choice words, the avakar told us he saw a green glow last night and it was (probably) that way. We decided that seemed the best direction to go, and the goblin helped guide us through the swamp in that direction. Towards evening we came across a well-appointed mansion with a nice dock, and there were several undead there seemingly awaiting us. They helped us dock and pointed us to a pavilion not far away. There we heard “Darkness” again, offering hospitality for the evening and promising not to kill us until we entered his house.

What followed was a creepy evening of entertainment. At several points, “Darkness” mentioned a darkmistress who turned out to be Cey’nara. He tried very hard to convert us to her worship, but none of us were interested.

The next morning, we decided it was into the house with us. The undead guards held the doors for us to go in, but then slammed them behind us very unnervingly. Several rooms in, we encountered a sealed stone room where we got gassed with poison gas!! Damn that “Darkness”!! We all eventually passed out…

We woke up some time later in a stone prison, with none of our gear and in our underwear. “Darkness” taunted us, saying we would be tested to see what heroes were really made of. Then everything went quiet. We eventually broke out of the prison and took along a couple of metal bars as weapons. We fought a bunch of skeleton warriors and archers and a TROLL zombie with very little but our wits, but we still won.

“Darkness” told us he was impressed and considering the possibility that heroes were more than their gear. We basically ignored him while we searched the room, where we found one of our elvish rapiers…

More "Darkness"

So after we fought off some psychotic freak that calls himself “Darkness”, he withdrew, and his gargoyle slave followed along. The rest of the night we healed up and stood guard.

At dawn, we headed out the direction the gargoyle went, but this IS a swamp. As temperatures soared, so did our tempers, until lunchtime, when we heard the taunting voice again. The voice suggested that that night was something big. I knew it was a full moon, which is mostly important to werewolves, which was concerning. The others took naps in the afternoon, but Ogre and I couldn’t sleep, so we watched.

We traveled on, and at sunset we found a small island to camp on. We built a fire just as the sun went down. I felt like we were being watched, but nothing was in sight. Not much happened until about 4 am, when the howling started. We prepared for a werewolf attack, and that bastard taunting voice said he’d be seeing us soon. (How do I strangle a disembodied voice? Must look into that…)

THEN the fireworks began. Just as five werewolves closed in to attack us, a small, angry creature darted up from the edge of the water. His wild flurry of attacks killed one werewolf outright, while the rest of us stared. When we recovered our wits, we joined the fight, not sure if this creature was our friend but positive that it was a foe of “Darkness”.
Our spellcaster went down, and Ogre invoked some sort of magic to save him, but after that everything went suddenly white…


So after we saved the elven ambassador and her whole, shiny ship, the Coast Guard and the elves threw us a very formal, military party for our heroic deeds. The party was very formal and very official (yawn), but they served good snacks. The AFTER-PARTY, though, was amazing! Everyone got lucky!! (Except the flying elf—he didn’t show up.)

Next day, Lt. Dan woke us with the news that we would be shipping out to investigate some serious disappearances at the far-flung village of Hawthorne, on the fringes of the Dimurk swamp. The village is known for selling swamp herbs and animals useful for the magic arts.

After some travel, we arrived to meet the villagers and hear their stories of the village children being taken, hunters disappearing, strange visions, etc. We didn’t find any evidence of foul-play in the village, so the second day there, we set off to investigate the swamp.

That night, we set up camp and set watches. We decided to lay out a fire but not light it, for fear of attracting unwanted attention. Before first watch was over, though, a voice was heard, goading, gloating, a voice that called itself simply, “Darkness”. We all jumped up and armed ourselves just as a wave of skeletons and undead rose from the ground around us!! There was continuous fighting, but each time we thought we would get the upper hand, more undead arose, and the voice taunted us again. Finally it occurred to me that we must be missing something, some hint, and I thought about DARKNESS. I yelled for Harry to start the fire for some light, and when he did, the tide turned. We beat back the undead, and Darkness complimented my figuring out the trap. We killed all but one monster, and that one ran away. We won, for the moment, but the dawn was still far away…

Nest of Darkness
Slightly R rated.

After saving the Elvish Nation ambassador L’shanhalanthalanondialtharon (L’shana) from the pirates a reception is held for the heroes. Fortunately they are required to wear dress uniform as only Reginald, the Eldakar, has fine clothing. In order to see how everyone functions in “polite:”" society Persuasion rolls are required modified by 2 for their recent “elf friend” favor tokens. Everyone is successful including the rather unlikely celebrity of the evening, Ogre the Ogre. (Link rolled a 30 in a rather unlikely exploding persuasion roll, I swear the whole table witnessed it!!!) Ogre was so impressive that he caught the attention of L’shana who offered him a position as bodyguard and, with a successful notice roll, Ogre thought he caught a hint of something else? (this may rub some people the wrong way, but I generally consider the longer lived races to be more or less hippies when it comes to general sexual mores, after all, if you live forever you have to fight boredom somehow!) Ogre invites L’shana for an after dinner drink and with another very high persuasion roll (even counting the outsider negative) she accepts. Vigor rolls are rolled and Ogre fails but spends a benny for a re-roll and does very well, in the 18’s. I roll giving a +4 for experience, +2 for defining interest, etc. and here I open end like crazy and get in the 30’s. Jokes turn from Ogre breaking the Elf to “The Elf broke the Ogre!!!” The next day Ogre sends flowers and L’shana thinks to herself “who are these from?” (again, sexual mores are fluid in my game, this Eldakar simply used the Ogre for a nights amusement).

Meanwhile Harry (Elaines familiar pixie) was quite the hit at the party and attends the after party where, being Brawny, he is the largest pixie there and finds plenty of companionship himself. Elaine gets worried and looks for him, deciding to "just step inside the after party for “Just a minute”". Stepping inside she is treated to what she KNOWS was a large empty room is now a glade with a waterfall, bowers, Alakar and Eldakar in various states of undress (think Arabian nights) She finds Harry, but loses her clothing and has a wonderful night ending up with Ash who was in attendance but who doesn’t remember her the next day. (think that scene at Hansel’s loft in Zoolander).

Reginald has no trouble and needs no rolls to find companionship (he IS an Eldakar after all!) and Mordecai decides not to participate.

The next day they are assigned to investigate some strange disappearances in a small village to the NW named Hawthorne that makes it’s living shipping rare herbs/skins from the nearby Dimurk swamp. Arriving there they find a well laid out, prosperous village. Investigation finds that nothing has left any tracks on roofs, the shutters were latched from the inside. Hunters have gone missing (not unusual, but unusual in these numbers). They decide to “head towards the peril” and travel into the swamp in a direction that they are told the last hunter vanished in. That night the swamp grows quiet, too quiet! Reginald and Ogre are on watch and here a voice from the night “Ah, the city has finally sent some brave heroes to investigate! Please, wake your friends!” Elaine, Harry, and Mordecai are woken and the voice continues (Mordecai makes a high Notice roll and sees a mist off to the North) "you may call me “Darkness” not my real name of course, but names have power don’t they Reginald? Yes I have the village children, some are not even dead! Are you prepared to find them? Let’s see!"

Skeletons erupt from the ground upon which the party was camped, not very impressive individually, but in numbers….. A large Zombie figure with a silver collar strides forth and the party does battle. Mordecai is downed but healed with a nasty scar (hot iron adventure card) Reginald uses his power of the ascended card to get essence free bolt spell. elaine orders harry to taunt the enemy but Harry makes a successful smarts roll to know that undead won’t be taunted and simply provides gang up and stabs with his Elvish Letter opener. The minor skeletons are defeated with Reginald taking a bad wound from one whom he cose to ignore (go exploding damage dice!). the large zombie is downed after hurting Ogre but keeps getting back up every round (Troll zombie, I know that’s not really how fast regeneration works, but whack-a-mole was fun!) Elaine finally realizes that harry can use cantrip to start the campfire the party had waiting and uses the fire to put down the troll.

In addition 2 gargoyles were firing arrows/fighting. They proved a great challenge but one was downed and the other successfully fled. “Darkness” taunted Reginald with Elaines success at using fire when it should have been the genius Eldakar who figured it out and told them he’d be seeing them soon!!

First Sea Battle

We have been assigned to the Enterprise, which patrols the coast. The other day we were cruising along when we found a big, beautiful elven ship (it almost glowed a little) being attacked by foul pirates!! A sea battle ensued between our ship and the three small pirate ships attacking the elves. I didn’t follow the intricacies of it all—it seemed like a lot of turning so that we could fire ballistas and catapults at the pirate ships. Eventually we closed into boarding range, and THEN things got interesting.

The pirates had a mage that kept messing with Ogre’s mind. Fortunately she (he?) didn’t go for the swim the mage recommended. We will have to find a way to keep that sort of suggestion from happening again. Then my stupid, foolish, overconfident Harry got too close to the bad guys and got his ticket punched. I am truly not sure how he didn’t die. He will carry a nasty scar on his belly for years to come. We were actually mopping up the pirates fairly well when the last three (including the mage… grrr) surrendered enthusiastically. Since we work for the government now, we had to honor their surrender, but I don’t think that sat well with any of us. Still, we took their ship, sank the second ship, and the third ship bravely ran away. We are heroes, again!! Lieutenant Dan was there to take the credit, just like always, but he made sure we all got promotions from it, too. The elves have sworn their gratitude to us, also, so it was a good days work.


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